When Rooster Crowed Christmas
Sermon-in-Verse – Advent 4 – 20.Dec.2015
Judson Memorial Baptist Church – Minneapolis, MN
The Rev’d G. Travis Norvell
Kids you need to know about the battle
The ancient Rooster and Dove spattle 1
For thousands of years doves have received
All of the praise, all have agreed
Except for roosters
The new day boosters
The roosters say, God does not like the world chaotic
God likes it orderly night from day, separated and robtic 2
God wants a worthy bird to announce the day
Not one who just carries a branch and shows the way 3
But doves are arrogant and full of themselves
Like Donald Trump and all of his elves 4
Doves say everything taste like dove, not chicken
But everyone knows they only eat dove in Great Britain
Hold onto this thought, it will make sense soon
Or else this story will fall flat…
Years ago Rooster met Miriam the wooo-man 5
In the ancient land of Caaana-an 6
She was singing a beautiful song
It made Roosters heart long
He was so caught up in her tune
That he did not see the spoon
Miriam struck on his head
She almost knocked him dead
She felt bad for her deed
He was such a beautiful breed
When he came to she offered him a deal
Ill teach you to speak in my home while you heal
A deal was struck hand and feather
Friendship forged forever 7
One day Miriam introduced, Yosef her beau 8
I think he’ll like your crow.
Yosef and Rooster became fast friends
They helped each other with odds and ends.
When Dove came around
Yosef would run him out of town
And Rooster kept Y & M happy
Especially when they got crabby
Yosef and Miriam were not yet married
And their feelings were varied.
Dove came by to start some trouble
He said to Yosef Miriam’s love is double
Yosef was very upset
Walk with me Miriam I need an outlet
Yosef, Miriam and Rooster went walking, all in the garden green
There were berries and cherries as thick as may be seen
Then Miriam said to Yosef, so meek and so mild
“Yosef, gather me some cherries for I am with child”
The Yosef flew in anger, in anger flew he
“Let the father of the baby gather cherries for thee
Then spoke up Rooster perched on Miriam’s womb
“Bow down ye tallest tree that this mother might have some.” 9
Rooster told Yosef about the angel Gabriel
The miracle of Miriam’s child dear Yosef is no fabiel. 10
It was difficult for Yosef to believe
He knew the family must leave
Onto the land of bread they went 11
They would find there a place to rent
And of course the pesky dove was nearby
Waiting till the hour was nigh
The ride on the donkey
Made pregnant Miriam plea
Get me a place in Bethlehem
Or there will be mayhem
Joseph tried, he really tried
But all said no even when he cried
Until an innkeeper said you can use my horses stall
But not past tomorrow’s nightfall
So Yosef told Miriam and she started to cry
Give birth to my babe in the open sky?
Oh well, get me in their fast
So I can birth this baby at last.
At the manger were many animals that night
All were worried and filled with fright
They knew something was going to take place
They didn’t know it was the birth of grace
The sheep kept bahhing
The goat kept nahhing
The cow kept mooing
And Dove that awful bird, kept cooing
Rooster knew once the baby was born
Dove would act like a horn
Dove not Rooster would tell the earth
About the saving savior’s birth
Miriam screamed throughout the evening
What in the world was I believing? 12
Yosef of course was a nervous fit
Rooster, luckily, kept his wit
Breathe Miriam, it will be okay
The child will emerge soon I daresay
Miriam’s labor was long and hard
It was smelly and drafty in the backyard 13
Then with one great internal shove
Miriam gave birth to a Supreme Love
Jesus was a gigantic baby boy all round
He weighed a whopping 15.3 pound 14
Which explains Miriam’s downtrodden face
Birthing Jesus was not full of grace
When Miriam laid the babe near her heart
Rooster this event do impart
How God gave all this huge and wonderful child
And through him we’ll lift the meek and mild
How peace will reign
And love will gain
Tell it Rooster loud and clear
So all creation will hear
Rooster went to the highest part
As he readied his crow to depart
Below him Dove flew asunder
Dove flew off to steal Rooster’s thunder
That nasty Dove was going to share
And Rooster didn’t have a prayer
As Dove looked back
There was a great thwack
An Eastern Imperial Eagle caught Dove in one swoop 15
Took him home and made Dove soup
Rooster crowed, announced the birth of the child
His act made even God smile
Rooster’s crow awoke the angelic host 16
Altered the shepherds on the coast
Reminded the star to shine as the signpost
And made chickens of the world rejoice the most
So kids on your Christmas day
Do you part to show the way
Crow for justice, scratch for mercy, peck for love
And don’t be arrogant, cruel and greedy like Dove. Amen and Amen.
1 Thanks to Rev. Mary Miller TABCOM Executive Minister for suggesting this change to the original opening lines.
3 Genesis 8:12 And he stayed yet other seven days; and sent forth the dove; which returned not again unto him any more.
4 Donald Trump was a 2016 Republican candidate for President of the USA; he covered the continuum from demagogue to doofus.
5 Miriam is the Hebrew version of Mary.
6 Please see Mike Myers’ beat-style poem in So I Married an Axe Murderer.
7 Here one can see the influence of the author Brian Doyle, please read Mink River for a deeper appreciation.
8 Yosef is the Hebrew version of Joseph
9 Lyrics from the Middle Ages carol, The Cherry Tree Carol – popularized by Peter, Paul and Mary. I prefer the Joan Baez version.
10 Please insert your own groan for this false rhyme.
11 Bethlehem, technically, means House of Bread.
12 Luke 1:30-31, And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God.
And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS.
13 Luke 2:16, Mary, and Joseph, and the babe lying in a manger.
14 John 21:11, Simon Peter went up, and drew the net to land full of great fishes, an hundred and fifty and three: and for all there were so many, yet was not the net broken. See James David Duncan’s book The River Why to fully appreciate this reference. My lovely bride suggested, after I delivered this sermon that I take 153 ounces and convert them to the size of Jesus, but I preferred the hyperbole of Jesus as a 15.3lbs baby.
15 When the Eastern Imperial Eagle migrating from Spain eastward, in December, stops in Israel.
16 It is a well-known fact that angels, although beautiful and attendant, spend most of the day in a deep sleep.